Positive Parenting Tips for Children (9-11 Years)

Child abuse needs to stop and education is the key.
The following free resources are essential to driving change and
are made possible through your contributions, thank you.


Understanding the milestones for each age is important because positive parenting strategies vary based on the child’s needs at certain stages.

Your child’s growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now.

Healthy friendships are very important to your child’s development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves.

This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence.

Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting middle or junior high school.




  • Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.
  • Experience more peer pressure.
  • Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.


You don’t have to be a perfect parent to make a positive impact on your child. Positive parenting at this age can be as simple as spending time with them. Find some ideas for implementing positive parenting with your 9 to 11 year old below.

  • Spend time with your child. Talk with them about him/her friends, their accomplishments, and what challenges they may face.
  • Get involved with your child’s school. Go to school events and meet your child’s teachers.
  • Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team or volunteer opportunity.
  • Help your child develop their own sense of right and wrong. Talk with them about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
  • Help your child develop a sense of responsibility by involving your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking.
  • Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.
  • Meet the families of your child’s friends.
  • Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage them to help people in need. Talk with them about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
  • Help your child set his own goals. Encourage them to think about skills and abilities they would like to have and how to develop them.
  • Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what behavior you expect when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help them to know what to do in most situations.
  • Use discipline to guide and protect your child rather than to punish them or make them feel bad about themselves.
  • When using praise, help your child think about their own accomplishments. Saying “you must be proud of yourself” rather than simply “I’m proud of you” can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise them.
  • Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
  • Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with them about their homework.
  • Be affectionate and honest with your child.
  • Do things together as a family.





  • Provide plenty of fruits and vegetables and do your best to provide healthy foods for family meals.
  • Limit foods high in solid fats, added sugars, or salt.
  • Keep television sets out of your child’s bedroom. Limit screen time, including computers and video games, to no more than 1 to 2 hours.
  • Encourage your child to participate in an hour a day of a variety of age-appropriate and enjoyable physical activities. Encourage your child to participate in three types of activity: aerobic activity like running, muscle strengthening like climbing, and bone strengthening like jumping rope, at least three days per week.




  • Face more academic challenges at school.
  • Become more independent from the family.
  • Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.
  • Have an increased attention span.
References & Sources
  1. Information Courtesy of CDC.
  2. Positive Parenting Tip Sheet for Children 9-11 Years CDC.

The abuse may be brief, but the trauma lasts a lifetime.
Kids’ lives and futures are on the line!
Be the voice against neglect and contribute to end child maltreatment today.

Positive Parenting Support,
At the click of a button.

Parenting Resource Center

Positive Parenting Tips for Children (9-11 Years)