How to Help Children Manage Fears

Mar 4, 2021 | Children's Mental Health, Parenting, Positive Parenting

Kids have many unexplainable fears, and adults should be comfortable with that. Fear is natural, especially when we are younger. It shows hidden curiosity towards things, and it is a phenomenon that should be thoroughly accepted. It also shows personal responsibility and real-time environment integration. Here’s how you can help your children manage their fears.

Stop pretending, start being honest

Children know when you’re lying, so stop pretending like you don’t fear anything. Deal with your own fears first. This is the only way in which you can help your kids deal with theirs. When they ask what you fear, don’t pretend. Tell them your real fears and let them know that you are working on them. This sets an example; it shows them that fears are okay to have, and that the only way to work through them is by accepting the situation as it is.

Don’t try to convince your child that they’ve got an irrational fear

The worst thing would be trying to tell your kid that he or she’s got an irrational fear. This is wrong because it makes them feel guilty. When they feel guilty, they fear more. Be reasonable and try to talk it out. Ask your kid why they fear X and open a dialogue on the subject. Make sure you stay open and non-judgmental. Make sure you recognize their fear as real. Don’t take anything they say personally, this conversation is not about you. It’s about them.

Highlight your kid’s strengths

Never try to belittle your kid’s fear. Do not make them feel ashamed. Help them open up and talk about it freely. Taking this opportunity away is wrong, as it makes them feel less important and not at all listened to. Use this chance to highlight and underline your kid’s strengths. Tell them how brave they are and use examples to support your arguments. Try to remember a time when they were scared but managed to conquer their fears. Let them know that they are strong enough to handle anything.

Be supportive

Be there for them when they’re scared. Make sure you provide a safe environment and calm them down if you need to. Physical touch is recommended, as this makes them feel safer. You could gently take their hand or hold them. Let them know that you are not going anywhere, and that you have their back. Your presence will help them calm down.

Don’t avoid what makes them anxious

Some parents make the mistake of avoiding the people, places, or things that make their kid vulnerable- but that’s not okay. You might fight off the stimuli as much as you can, but you cannot take it away forever. Once they grow up, they might encounter the same problem; if you keep taking the stimuli away as a kid, they’ll never fix the issue. They won’t have the chance to confront their fears. They’ll be stuck.

Don’t think that your kid cannot handle the situation. They can and they will, especially with your support. Gradually expose them to the stimuli, step by step. Don’t hurry. For example, if your kid’s afraid of cats, start reading stories about cats first; then, visit a shelter. Slowly, you’ll see how their fear will go away.

Educate your child to confront problems

This is exactly what I was referring to in the previous point. Don’t take away the stimulus but help them confront it. This is a crucial point in your kid’s education. It’s a life lesson, really. If they give up when encountering a problem, they’ll never succeed in life. But if they learn to confront the ‘impossible,’ they’ll find a solution for everything.

This will educate them to become empowered whenever a problem arises. It will help them find the courage to fight injustice. It will minimize their future fears and maximize their potential, in the end.

Don’t panic

“This is an important piece of advice for you. Do not panic,” essay writer and psychology teacher, Craig Walton, recommends. Your kid’s behavior is not unusual. They are growing up the right way if they’re scared of different things, scenarios, or people. If they are not, that’s when you should be worried. That means they have little to no sense of personal responsibility or are afraid to admit that they fear.

So, do not panic, try to stay as calm as possible. This is the only way in which you can assure them that they’re in a safe space. If you’re panicking, they’ll panic even more. If you become afraid, they’ll fear more. You must set a positive example, and you can only do that if you don’t panic.

Wrapping Up

First, learn what your fears are and deal with them. If you haven’t solved them by now, let your child know that you’re in the same boat- you also fear. Let them know that’s absolutely normal. Be supportive, expose them to the stimuli slowly, and teach them that everything in life should be confronted. Good luck!


Justin Osborne is a essay writer, he loves to share his thoughts and opinions about education, writing and blogging with other people on different blogs and forums. Currently, he is working as a content marketer at


Parenting Toolkits

Learning offline is now possible! Download our new Parenting Toolkits today.