In honor of Child Abuse Prevention month, author of the book “Purple Dragon Mother, Healing from Child Abuse” Eva Louise Henderson, shares her guest blog post tailored to those who are currently suffering from abuse and have never told anyone. She shares with us her unwavering belief in every survivor’s ability to overcome the harmful effects of child abuse. Her message is strong – you are not alone, you can make things better and when you seek help, healing is absolutely possible.
Eva strongly believes in the mission of the American SPCC to advocate for children’s rights and safety, and protect them against abuse, violence and bullying. It’s vital to support positive parenting and improve the care of children.
Healing and the Importance of Seeking Help
My name is Eva Louise and I am a 43 year old woman from the UK. I survived 15 years of complex child abuse and then went on to work helping others escape domestic violence, gaining qualifications along the way, and my experience comes from both being a survivor and helping others.
There is a lot of growing awareness around abuse right now, with the #metoo campaign and everything that is coming out. I like this because there are a LOT of us who have been abused and I like to think that a lot of suffering can be eased with this growing willingness to pull the matter into the light of day. The American SPCC is a pivotal organization in this regard, helping to end child abuse and providing support and resources for anyone affected.
This blog is for people who have yet to seek help because I want to talk about how good it feels when we finally do – how much it helps to talk about it, to be believed, to have the words said out loud, to connect the dots of our lives.
Having been abused in childhood is a big deal and it’s no wonder if you are suffering. It is normal to repress it, but it tends to keep coming back and I believe this is because it needs to come out. What happened was deeply wrong and it’s not OK if nothing has ever been said or done about it.
Having been abused changes a person – we become isolated, fearful, angry, confused, ashamed. There are suicidal survivors. If you were abused and feeling any of these things, that is normal, but to me it is also unfair. Why should you have to suffer like this? I used to listen to client after client tell these horrendous stories full of years of shocking acts, and most of them have either not told anyone or told someone and not got any sort of care and comfort whatsoever. To me, this is wrong. If I walked in on a situation where a kid was being harmed in some way, I would not simply pick them up off the floor and then tell them not to talk about it. A LOT would need to be said about it.
My advice for the thousands of people out there who have never had any care or concern after all they have been through – no admittance, no acknowledgment, no grace in life, no time off, no cuddles and love, no understanding – seek some help because it wasn’t your fault and you don’t have to suffer like this.
Child abuse seriously traumatizes us and it deserves to be talked about so that the upset it causes is stopped in its’ tracks. I want survivors to know that getting support will radically change your life for the better. Abuse can be deeply isolating, when not a soul knows, but talking about it and working it out is amazing. Having someone believe you, be on your side, say what needed to have been said, reassure you that you are not going mad or secretly deserved it is wonderful. Being able to think about what it has done to your life, what it has cost you and then what you can do about it, is where healing lies. And healing is absolutely possible. There are survivors out there who now feel ‘Meh’ about what they went through and whose lives are radically different from what they once were, and who have the things that mean the most to them such as homes, relationships, full lives, peace of mind. I’ve watched a lot of survivors cry and grieve and be very upset for a time, but then start to blossom and just somehow feel better, like they’ve turned a corner, which they have.
Everyone’s healing journey is going to be completely individual, but they all start with finding some help. I strongly encourage survivors reading this to seek help. People like us are out there. We understand and we want to help you live your best life yet.
American SPCC encourages you to join us as we help create a brighter future for kids. Through advocacy and help resources we create real impact in families and communities. Kid’s need our voice like never before! TAKE ACTION and start making a positive difference in the life of a child.
There are so many ways that you can be a hero!
About the author
E.L. Henderson overcame many years of complex child abuse and now helps others do the same. She has almost twenty years’ experience of personal healing and fourteen years’ experience of front line charity work, working with people who are fleeing violence, with complex histories and in acute crisis. E.L. Henderson has a number of professional qualifications, has won awards within the helping industry and runs talks and workshops for survivors and professionals. She currently resides in Somerset, U.K.and plays the guitar.
To read Eva Louise´s personal story, visit: /testimonial/healing-from-child-abuse/
To purchase her book, Purple Dragon Mother, Healing from Child Abuse, click here.
Good News! Amazon will donate a portion of every book purchased through this link to American SPCC to further our mission to improve children’s lives!