Building your child’s resilience starts with support

Feb 22, 2018 | Children, Family, Parenting, Positive Parenting

If done correctly, positive parenting builds positive emotions & self-esteem

A Note from American SPCC:

There is no doubt that parenting can be rewarding and exhausting all at the same time. The process of parenting is a full-time job, full of joys, trials, challenges, and triumphs. No parent is perfect. However, good parents take their parenting roles seriously, and are empowered to learn and develop their positive parenting skills. They accept responsibility for the total healthy development of their child, and good parents act as a positive role model. They mentor and guide their child through childhood to a successful adulthood.
Our goal is to assist parents and caregivers through parental education and awareness. By helping parents and caregivers guide their children with effective parenting methods, we hope to help break the cycle of child maltreatment and domestic violence, and have a positive impact on the well-being of children and families.
Positive parenting intervenes on the chance of children developing negative outcomes from Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). As parents and adults model respect, kindness, and caring mindfulness, children learn how to develop healthy relationships and make good choices. Be a mentor, advocate and guardian of children.
Kids need our help. They can’t protest abuse, neglect, and injustice……Join us as we give a voice to the ‘voiceless’ to ensure the next generation has a better chance at a brighter future than the one before.

Together, we are building a better future…one child at a time!

by Rebecca Eanes
My son was 4 years old. Still so small, so dependent on his mama. It was an ordinary day when he developed an unordinary limp. It started small and barely noticeable, but it progressed rapidly. Within a couple of hours, he was limping heavily and complaining of pain. He hadn’t injured it that I knew of, and my boy’s tears prompted me to head to our pediatrician’s office.
It was a 20 minute drive to the hospital. By the time we got there, my son could no longer walk. I had no idea what was happening. I carried him into the doctor’s office and frantically said he needed to be seen right away. On the exam table, it was noted that he had redness and swelling in all of his joints, and he cried out in pain when they were touched. His pediatrician determined he had serum sickness due to an antibiotic he was on for strep throat. He recommended he be admitted immediately and given a course of prednisone.
Registration for admittance took another 30 minutes or so. I held him on my lap as we waited. He was scared and in pain, and my heart ached for my sweet boy. Once in the room, he was instantly surrounded by a team of nurses who got to work.
As they tried more than 10 times to get an IV in him and failed, I held his hands and rubbed his head, whispering in his ear that I was so sorry and that I was there for him. Since they couldn’t get the IV in, they had to go with oral medication, which they administered, and we waited.
Sexual-Abuse-mother-daughter-hugging-sadBy the next day, he could walk again. In a few days, he was back to his normal, happy, energetic self. He went through quite a traumatic experience for a f4 year old, but here’s why I’m telling you this story.
Now, years later, when he recounts this event which he remembers quite well, he doesn’t talk about the fear, the needles, the pain or the medicine. He refers to that day as “the day mommy carried me.”
Mamas, in this story, there is hope for us all and a valuable lesson. It proves that love is greater than hurt. It is a stunning example of the power of presence, connection, and love in building resilience. Our children will face trials and adversities, but as long as we there to carry them through they’ll be okay.
It’s in the carrying them that they find the strenght to stand and walk on their own.
Resilience isn’t built in the falling and getting back up. Resilience is built in leaning, in loving, in being carried. It’s built in connection, like so many things in childhood (and life) are.
According to The Center of the Developing Child at Harvard University, the single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver or other adult.
Since then, I’ve carried my boy a lot, and even though he’s now too big for me to physically pick up, he knows that I’ll be there to carry him through anything he faces.
We all need someone to carry us from time to time, and my greatest wish as a mother, beyond hoping my children are healthy and happy, is that they know without question they have someone to run to. I hope that “the day mommy carried me” will continue to live in his mind as a reminder that it’s okay to be carried when you cannot stand on your own. I think that’s a lesson we would all do well to remember.

Rebecca Eanes 

Rebecca Eanes, is the founder of and creator of Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond. She is the bestselling author of 3 books. Her newest book, Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, is more than a parenting book, it’s a guide to human connection. She has also written The Newbie’s Guide to Positive Parenting, and co-authored the book, Positive Parenting in Action: The How-To Guide to Putting Positive Parenting Principles in Action in Early Childhood. She is the grateful mother to 2 boys.


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American Society for the Positive Care of Children is gives a voice to those who have been overlooked for too long…the children. With your help, we’re making sure that each generation has a better chance at a brighter future than the one before it.  

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