It can be challenging to raise a child with a mental health condition, so it’s no surprise that parents often feel inadequate, frustrated, and completely overwhelmed.
Children can experience a wide variety of mental health problems, including ADHD, anxiety disorders, depression, and other mood disorders. While medication and/or therapy can be life-changing, they don’t always work, and those that do aren’t guaranteed to last forever.
There are many warning signs that could suggest your child’s mental health treatment is not working as well as it should. When this happens, that inevitable, familiar panic rears its ugly head: What can I do?
How To Tell When Your Child’s Treatment Isn’t Working
Signs that your child’s mental health treatment is not working can be subtle. Your feeling that treatment is wrong might be accurate in an intuitive way, but it isn’t a reliable indicator of a problem and isn’t always useful when you’re talking to a professional.
The most obvious indicators that treatment is incorrect can include previous symptoms returning consistently, a reluctance to go to therapy, and a refusal to take medication
More subtle signs that treatment isn’t appropriate might be:
Social withdrawal: Not wanting to be around people; not wanting to play with friends
Increased irritability: Angry outbursts; tantrums; aggressive behavior
Changes in sleeping habits: Sleeping too much or too little; not being able to fall asleep
Behavioral changes: Changes in eating habits, poor academic results, and weight fluctuations
Signs of anxiety: Worrying; restlessness; difficulty concentrating; regression (bedwetting, for example); Physical symptoms: Issues such as stomach aches or headaches
When these signs persist, intensify, or are repeatedly raised with a provider without meaningful review or adjustment, it may indicate more than a treatment mismatch. While most mental health professionals act with care and good intentions, ongoing deterioration, inadequate monitoring, or concerns being consistently dismissed may warrant a second opinion.
In severe cases, parents may also consider seeking legal guidance to better understand whether their child’s care met appropriate professional standards.
What To Do and Who To Talk To
This is the time to be proactive. Your first port of call should be the doctor or therapist.
If the situation is deteriorating rapidly, an urgent appointment should be requested. If there’s a long waiting list, give them a call anyway. If they cannot take the call, leave a message that clearly communicates the seriousness of the situation.
Likewise with a therapist. If your child is not on medication, your therapist may refer them to a doctor who can verify their diagnosis and come up with a more effective treatment plan. There’s also the possibility that the therapy your child is receiving isn’t right for them.
Another helpful option is to speak with other adults who regularly interact with your child, such as teachers, sports coaches, babysitters, or other family members. They are usually able to give you a more holistic picture of how your child is doing and sometimes provide valuable insights into the exact problem.
Before you have the conversation with a therapist or doctor, make a list of things to discuss, such as:
- What troubling symptoms is your child showing?
- For how long have these symptoms been re-emerging?
- The severity of symptoms
- What have you tried to fix the situation?
- Anything new in your child’s environment or activities, such as moving house or going to a different school
It’s also possible that the issue doesn’t lie with medical or psychological treatment, but a difficulty they’re facing, such as bullying at school or disappointment at not being selected for a sports team. These definitely affect your child’s psychological state, but they might not respond to an adjusted treatment plan without addressing the root cause.
How To Support Your Child
It’s highly unlikely that this problem will be resolved immediately, so it’s vital to support your child throughout this unsettling process.
Some ways to support them include:
Talk to them
Children often can’t articulate what is bothering them, so it’s up to the parents to work out what’s going on and what they need. You don’t need to have an in-depth conversation about psychology, but approach the topic indirectly, asking questions like: “Aren’t you enjoying dancing anymore? What don’t you like about it?”
Maintain a routine
Familiar routines can feel safe amid uncertainty and fear. This might be extremely difficult, but it can definitely help. On the flip side, be flexible. Don’t force things that seem to make things worse.
Stay calm
Your anxiety about your child’s issues is infectious. Children can’t always articulate their feelings, but that doesn’t mean they’re unobservant or lacking intelligence. The easiest trap to fall into is the good old vicious cycle. Your child gets anxious, you get anxious, your child picks up your anxiety, theirs ramps up several notches, yours climbs…and so the cycle continues.
Getting Ahead: Finding The Best Treatment For Your Child
Every parent whose child is experiencing a mental illness would do just about anything to find the right treatment that really works – for good.
While these conditions aren’t completely preventable, nipping them in the bud is first prize. It can be hard to hit on the best remedy (or combination of such), but there are some vital questions to ask yourself before making that first appointment.
- What signs are there that show me my child is not well?
- When did these symptoms start?
- Have there been any changes that may have triggered the issue?
- What treatment am I looking for? Medication? Therapy?
If you haven’t yet started your child in treatment, don’t panic. It is very daunting to take the first step, especially with the pervasive societal shame about mental health conditions. These problems do not make you a bad parent, but your response to them is a deciding factor in how the situation plays out.
Moving Forward
It is fairly common for children to relapse or struggle to find a combination of meds and/or therapy that works indefinitely. There is no cure for mental health conditions, but it is certainly possible with you advocating for them and stepping in when needed that your child will grow, thrive, and become a happy, healthy adult.
