Do you check your child’s digital life every night, or do you leave it to them to manage on their own? How you set up and use parental controls reflects your parents’ style.
In today’s digital world, when children are exposed to screens from an early age, the use of parental control tools has become necessary for many families. Besides restricting screen time or blocking some specific websites, these tools mirror broader aspects of parenting — how much trust you give your child, what your discipline method is, and how involved you are in their online experiences.
According to a recent survey, 80% of parents check their children’s location and online activities. But understanding how to track my child’s phone is just one brick in the whole wall. The real question is — what do your parental controls say about you?
Your decisions shape your kids’ online habits and convey your responsibilities toward them. Are you a strict digital gatekeeper, a hands-off observer, or something in between? Let’s find out.
Levels of Parental Control
Although there are various rating systems, based on HeyLocate research, here are the basic digital parental control levels people use:
No Control
You count on your children’s judgment and willpower. You do not restrict their use of digital devices, nor do you have any tools in place for monitoring. Your child is on their own regarding internet use.
- No restrictions
- No screen time limits or filters
- No check on browsing history
Minimal
As a parent, you neither want to expose your child to risks nor block their digital path. So, you create a flexible net instead of rigid filtering. You put some limits on the number of apps and screen time.
- Flexible screen time
- Basic filters by default
- Occasional check on browsing history
Moderate
You set parenting guidelines and restrictions for your child’s digital world. Still, you look for a somewhat balance in their life. For example, you may limit the play time to 1–2 hours on weekdays and a bit of leeway on weekends. But you allow more for holidays.
- Location tracking when necessary
- Set but flexible screen time
- Safe mode for downloads and browsing
- Occasional interaction about security and social media use
High
At this stage, you take the driving seat in your control and set very specific restrictions. Like, limit the screen time to 60 minutes, even on weekends; review the apps and websites carefully before allowing the child to use them. You use advanced parenting control tools and check the online activity.
- Location tracking
- Strict screen time
- Strict filters and restrictions for apps and browsing
- Social media monitoring
- Regular admonitions on safety measures
Extreme
Here, all the exposure to the digital world comes under your control. You order, and the child follows (or has to). You use every possible method to restrict your kid’s online and phone activities with no explanations.
- Location tracking with geofencing
- Very strict and limited screen time
- Very high restrictions on apps and internet usage
- Social media are forbidden
- Call & SMS monitoring
- No interaction with a child about safety
What It Says About Your Parenting Style?
The main parenting styles are those described by Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist, and supported by later researchers. These are permissive, authoritarian, uninvolved/neglectful, and authoritative parenting styles.
This categorization aims to help parents see the fine line between their responsiveness and expectations in parenting. Here’s how your digital oversight might mirror these styles:
No Control — Neglectful Parenting
You remain entirely aloof from the child’s digital world. This means you don’t bother installing any search filters or putting any limit on screen time. And why should you, when you can just give your child a phone, and they won’t bother you, right? Sorry, but it’s not trust; it’s neglectful parenting.
Minimal Control — Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents set few restrictions, relying on open conversations rather than strict rules to shape their children’s online and media habits. You are more interested in being friends and allowing minors significant freedom with only light guidance. This approach may work — it all depends on the age of your digital user.
Moderate to High Control — Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents not only set and impose the rules but also bother to explain them and invite their children to express themselves. The term “authoritative” itself reflects a balanced approach, where parents exercise authority in setting expectations but also respect their child’s opinions and emotions. It’s about firm guidance (authority) with warmth and responsiveness.
High to Extreme Control — Authoritarian Parenting
You may or may not realize this fact, but you are an authoritarian parent. Too afraid for your child’s safety? Or too distrustful? It would take a separate article to figure out, and if your method of parental control has shown you to be a dictator, we strongly encourage you to examine why you are that way in the first place.
What to Do Next?
This whole exercise, where you look at your behavior from the perspectives of the different parenting styles, can reveal where you are now and what changes you might think of for parenting.
If You Sense a Touch of Uninvolved or Neglectful Parenting:
Instead of sitting aloof, ask yourself: do you sense the cyber risks children may face daily? According to the report for 2024, 67%of children report experiencing online harms.
Unfiltered content or online interactions can have long-lasting effects on their personality. Be conscious of your parenting, and openly discuss and connect with your child about their digital lives. Explore the online threats by yourself and with them.
If You Lean Toward Permissive Parenting:
“Friend, Not a Father” is a catchy slogan, but parenting demands being a father, too. Your permissive attitude can be the door to exposing your child to much-unfiltered content, which can drastically impact their psychology and growth. Perhaps explaining the idea of gentle limits and letting them have some fun might be the best way forward.
If You See Traces of Authoritarian Parenting in Your Approach:
Your over-conscious or over-strict parenting style will provide short-term protection, but in the long term, it will harm your children.
Authoritarian parenting fosters a child’s low self-esteem, poor decision-making skills, and heightened anxiety or depression due to excessive control and lack of emotional support. This can lead to rebellion and total withdrawal from you as a parent, even in adulthood.
Instead, analyze your motivation for such an approach, engage in more discussions with the child, and be ready to change the parenting style.
If You Are Aligned with Authoritative Parenting:
You promote a clear-camel environment in whose bosom honesty and expressive power are anchored. You choose a path that finds a balance between digital parenting and trust. In consequence, your child grows with understanding and confidence.
It is rare and highly commendable. This is one of the most helpful parenting styles as it not only assures your child’s safety but also fosters their liberty and creative zeal. Your dedication to being aware of online trends and adaptation to new control measures makes you an outstanding parent. Others should take you as a role model!
