Abuse of any kind is a tragic circumstance for a child to be in. Sometimes, parents are unaware of abuse that happens to their child, especially if it is perpetrated by someone they know and trust. Unfortunately, the signs of child abuse aren’t as common as one might think. Knowing some of the more subtle signs can help you recognize behavior that could warrant a deeper dive.
Sudden and Unexplained Behavioral or Mood Changes
Mood swings in kids can be common, especially as they’re going through puberty, which can make it difficult to identify when they’re a symptom of abuse. Extreme mood swings can point to something else entirely, especially if you can’t attribute them to puberty. Mood swings may happen severely or out of nowhere, unlike teenage-related hormonal changes. Extreme rage, violence, depression, or panic may indicate that something is wrong. Giving your child the mental health support they need can help protect them and allow you to get to the bottom of potential abuse or any mental health conditions, if applicable. If mood swings are more frequent, more severe, or seemingly unexplainable, especially before they start puberty, it’s best to communicate with your child and seek medical care.
Developmental Regression
While behavioral regression doesn’t always indicate abuse, you will want to pay attention if your child suddenly exhibits symptoms of developmental roadblocks. Wetting the bed or waking you up for nightmares after not doing so previously could be a sign of extreme stress from abuse. Sucking their thumb or needing a stuffed animal after previously ceasing these behaviors could indicate a desire to self-soothe after a stressful event, which is common in abuse. It’s best to talk with your child, their doctor, and their mental health professionals to determine if these behavior regressions are due to a more serious cause.
Avoidance of Certain People or Places
It’s not unusual for a child not to feel like going to school or attending to some other responsibility. If you notice an extreme aversion to a particular person or place, such as a panic response or a tendency to flee, it is essential to pay close attention. Try to open up a dialogue about why your child may want to avoid a certain person or place so badly. In places where children can’t easily leave, such as a school, rehabilitation center, or juvenile facility, they may resort to extreme measures to avoid certain staff members, teachers, or other dangerous individuals. It could be a key indicator of bullying or, at times, abuse. The Illinois Youth Center (IYC) in Warrenville faced several sexual abuse lawsuits by the families of teenagers who were sent there. If your child expresses severe stress or anger in response to a particular person, place, or event, you’ll want to determine the cause to keep them safe.
Overly Mature Behavior
Maturity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As your child ages, particularly during their teenage years, they often will learn many new life lessons and test boundaries. Some behavior, however, could indicate a red flag for abuse. Mature sexual or violent behavior, far beyond the knowledge of a child their age, is typically a telltale sign that the child has been exposed to something for adults. Talk with your child to see where and when they learned such behavior or dialogue. Try to avoid punishing the child for their knowledge of such behavior, as it can lead to an unwillingness to communicate due to fear of punishment.
Repeating Injuries
Injuries can always present as a red flag for concerned parents. Still, kids who regularly play outside or are involved in sports may earn a scrape or bruise periodically, making it easy for injuries due to abuse to fly under the radar. Pay attention if you notice similar marks or bruises in the same areas, as this could indicate a pattern of abuse. Some physical abusers will leave marks under clothing or in more hidden areas to raise less suspicion. If you notice recurring patterns of similar injuries without a clear explanation, pay attention and seek help for your child if necessary. Children may become flustered or avoidant when asked about abuse injuries, especially if an abuser asked them to remain silent. If injury excuses seem vague or don’t make sense, you’ll likely want to take action.
Guilt, Shame, or Low Self-Esteem
A sudden and rapid change in self-esteem can be a sign of abuse. If there are no other reasons for excessive feelings of guilt or shame, this could be due to an abuser making them feel this way. They may place blame on themselves for the abuse, leading to social withdrawal, avoidant behavior, signs of depression, and more. If your child regularly insults themselves, blames themselves, or lacks confidence suddenly, mental health support is an excellent start.
What to Do if You Suspect Abuse
If you’re concerned your child may be a victim of abuse, you aren’t alone. It’s an incredibly distressing and tragic event that can easily be overwhelming. You must get your child to safety, even if you haven’t identified the abuser. Report the abuse to the authorities, such as law enforcement and Child Protective Services. You can obtain an attorney to help you through the process, especially if you want to file a protective order or a change in custody.
Conclusion
If your child’s behavior is concerning, your first thought is to find the cause. Abuse is a common cause of behavioral or developmental issues in children, and not all signs are obvious, like the typical black eye. Sometimes, it’s a lack of confidence that can occur overnight. At other times, it’s a recurring, finger-shaped bruise on the rib cage. Not all mood swings or developmental delays point to abuse, but experiencing a handful of questionable signs should warrant your attention. The key to helping your child through any difficulty or trauma is to be a source of trust and guidance. Paying attention is the very first step.
