GROWING UP PANICKED
I’ve been told my story is dark. I’ve been told, “I need time to adjust to you.” I’ve seen what life looks like when you have zero self-worth and would give anything to have the pain stop.
I was 27 years old when I came out about being sexually abused by my father from around ages 3-10 years old. My home life consisted of great dysfunction, alcoholism, domestic violence, and mental illness for my entire life. Beginning at age 12, I began journaling as a means of survival. 15 years later, I compiled the raw and telling journal entries into my book, Growing Up Panicked. I find it to be my life’s mission to help inspire others to know they can heal! That no matter how traumatic your past, you can live the life you always imagined.
This past year, my dad committed suicide the same way his dad committed suicide. When he did, I had no idea the amount of disassociated memories that would come forth. Horrid visions surfaced, I broke out in hives, I coughed for months and even damaged the cartilage connecting my rib cage to my lungs. I know what it feels like to have no idea how to be your authentic self because she/he was taken from you. But, I also know how it feels to re-introduce a missing part of yourself.
My childhood abuse controlled my life, even into adulthood. I ended up in multiple domestic violence relationships due to my past. My Police Officer, now ex-husband was an alcoholic and beat me. I left him with $35 to my name. My dad told me, “It takes two to tango.” I had a severe rage inside of me and I never knew where it came from, until my inner child showed me the sex abuse.
In my 27 years of my life I have experienced or lived around sex abuse, dysfunction, domestic violence, bullying, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, anger, fear, OCD, PTSD, Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, suicide, alcoholism, divorce, and more. I know what you’re going through, and I promise you that if you have self-compassion and courage, you CAN heal from your past.
I am so beyond thankful for American SPCC! Children do matter, YOU matter, and your inner child matters.
To purchase Joselyn´s inspiring survivor story, Growing Up Panicked, click here.
Good news! Amazon will donate a percentage of every book purchased through American SPCC, to support our child Advocacy, Awareness, Education, and Help Initiatives to help end child abuse in all forms. You can make a difference!
December 11, 2017