Body image can be a very difficult topic for parents to discuss with their teenager. Some parents may think that the body image concerns that their teenager has will resolve on their own over time. However, the teen years may actually be a time when negative body image attitudes start to emerge or become more of an issue for some teenagers. Teenagers notice body changes and are very aware of how others react to their appearance. Comments – whether from parents, brothers and sisters, other adults, the media, or other teenagers – can cause significant distress. Parent–teenager conversations about body image are very important for the health and well-being of teenagers in the present and into the future. Today, we’ll prepare you with everything you need to know about talking to your teens about body image and their potential issues with it.
Why Body Image Becomes a Big Issue During the Teen Years
Adolescence is a time of great change. Teenagers are experiencing growth in height, weight, and body shape, as well as the onset and fluctuations of hormones in almost every organ in their bodies. And it is all happening at the same time. Growth changes can occur very quickly and may occur at very different rates in different teenagers. Self–comparisons to others are common for teens as they compare themselves to classmates and friends on social media.
Teenagers in these years will become more aware of the pressure from societal beauty standards. They are constantly bombarded by beauty and fashion advertisements and promotions, and they become enticed by social media sites that portray airbrushed models who are thin and physically “perfect.” These teenagers are misled into believing that these media portrayals are accurate and genuine when they are heavily manipulated using software to create the ideal and unattainable beauty image. The teenagers are not aware of the number of retouches, poses, and manipulations that need to occur to an image in order to get the person to look like the idealized beauty image displayed in the media. The negative body images and low self-esteem that teenagers develop when comparing themselves to idealized media images will begin to emerge at this stage.
How Family Conversations Can Help
As adults, we often don’t realise just how much attention teenagers are paying to the words and behaviour that we exhibit. They are listening and watching. They hear all of the things that we say, and particularly all of the things that we say about our own bodies and those of others. And hey, pick up on all of the casual remarks we make about being too fat or too skinny, and they notice our derisory comments and criticisms about the weight and physical appearance of others. Our praise for beauty and bodily form has a huge influence.
Even in jest, we sometimes make hurtful comments without thinking about the negative impact. Body weight and shape are not appropriate topics for jokes because they send the wrong message that weight and shape are important. The best thing to do is to avoid talking poorly about their weight or body shape in front of your child. When parents model health behaviors and like their bodies just as they are, teenagers are more likely to do the same.
Some teens pick up their values from social media more than they do from home.
Social Media and Constant Comparison
There is a large amount of evidence to suggest that teenagers are suffering from body image issues because of the influence of social media. Body image issues and social media have become an integral part of a teenager’s life. Social media sites such as TikTok and Instagram have made it very easy for teenagers to compare themselves to others through the large number of images and videos available at any time during the day.
So many teens are bombarded with social media images and videos of famous people, celebrities, and even friends looking flawless and perfect. What they don’t see is the work that goes into photo editing, lighting, and make-up to achieve this airbrushed look.
Some images, messages, and ideas on the internet are not true, and teenagers may not realise this, leading to them developing an eating disorder through the social media influence. There is a clear connection between social media and teen eating disorders. These platforms are where the teens get these ideas. It’s where they pick up on cues and sometimes even get tips for disordered eating.
To approach this, the best is not to ban all social media for our teenagers. Instead, sit down at the kitchen table and talk them through it. Tell them what they see is not reality.
Signs Your Teen May Be Struggling With Body Image
Talking to your teens about body image matters even more if you notice their own struggles are becoming large. Of course, it’s possible they won’t want to talk about it straight away. They definitely won’t approach you with it. Still, as a parent, you need to be aware of potential body image concerns and look for signs of worry.
The first red flag of body image problems in teens is talking negatively about body shape and features. It is most commonly weight and shape concerns, as well as preoccupation with and concern about the general appearance of the body. Some teens will actually appear not to care about the way their bodies look, and so may avoid the mirror and pictures. Their focus and concern about the body in relation to weight and body shape may be more in relation to the appearances of others, such as peers, models, and celebrities, and what is seen on social media.
Scared of increasing in size, a body image concern means that the change leads to significant dietary restriction, cutting out sugar in efforts to lose weight without medical supervision, and/or over-exercising. A body image concern can also lead to withdrawal from certain activities, such as social parties. This happens because of a perceived connection to body image and eating concerns.
How to Start the Conversation
Parents can begin by asking their teenagers how they feel about issues such as social media, peer pressure, and beauty standards. They shouldn’t be lectured to! Ask for their opinion about current trends online. It makes for an engaging discussion. This should be a two-way conversation in which parents are truly listening and understanding their teenager’s perspective. Parents may be surprised and will at least have a better understanding of the world their teenager is living in.
The temptation is always there to dismiss body image concerns in teenagers. But dismissing concerns as ‘no problem’ or with a dismissive ‘You look fine’ is never an option. What the teenager is trying to tell us is that we have not listened to their feelings. That we do not take their feelings seriously.
Finally, rather than trying to correct their opinions, parents can simply acknowledge and accept the emotional experience that is happening for their child. This can be as simple as saying, “You seem really upset. Would you like to talk about it?”
Knowing the warning signs can help you know when your child needs professional help.
Helping Teens Build a Healthy View of Their Bodies
A healthy body image is not about teenagers being able to say that they love and accept every inch of themselves at all times. It is about teenagers being able to derive their sense of worth from places other than their bodies.
One of the biggest lessons we can teach our children is the concept of diversity of talent. One way to do this is to get them involved in as many different activities as possible. This includes sports, music, art, and giving back to the community, as well as academics.
Body shape is another topic you may wish to explore. Talking about strength, energy, and health for the whole family can shift the focus from their physical appearance. There are many different factors that contribute to an eating disorder that have not yet been fully researched. This includes looking at how a person’s family behaves towards food, such as eating habits, diet, and attitudes towards body and food related to physical activity and exercise.
When Professional Support May Be Needed
When body image issues become a bit of a problem. If your teenager is becoming really distressed about their appearance, that’s a first sign. If they’re starting to restrict their eating to try and manage their weight, or over-exercising in an attempt to ‘burn off’ food, you should take notice. And if they’re doing it all together, then an intervention from a professional may be required.
Parent education is an essential part of our approach. Parents must be taught that seeking help is not a failure for their teenager. It’s an adjunct to help teenagers cope with very difficult feelings.
Building Confidence Through Honest Communication
Teenagers have a huge amount of pressure on them in today’s society. One of the pressures that we believe is one of the most damaging to self-esteem and mental health is body image. The more you spend time talking to your teens about body image, the more equipped they will be to deal with negative messages. It’s what they hear over the years that will last a lifetime. And in the long run, that will be more from home than on the net. What they hear will shape their self-image for the rest of their lives.
