When Christmas approaches, you only want love, light, and happiness. This isn’t easy to focus on when you are divorcing your spouse. Filing for divorce during the holiday season is tough – incredibly so. When you face the end of your marriage during this time, the sheer brightness of it all will only increase your sadness, stress, and uncertainty.
We are at the end of another year, and 2024 was a fast-paced and demanding 12 months. If you add the complexities of divorce to December, you can quickly become overwhelmed.
Getting into the right mindset and using the right strategies to navigate your divorce during the holidays is important. Doing this will help you preserve your mental and emotional well-being so you can get to the other side of your divorce in one piece.
Coping With the Holidays and Divorce at the Same Time
The holidays are inevitably steeped in long-standing traditions. You and your spouse may go on a special vacation each year or have a champagne tradition for New Year’s Eve. Either way, you may feel lost and unsure since you will not be partaking in that tradition anymore.
Feeling sad, angry, or even relieved is perfectly fine and normal. Acknowledge your emotions without being too hard on yourself. Talk to friends and family about your feelings and lean on them for support.
Focus Only On What You Can Control
Not everything is in your hands during a divorce. There are many unknowns that you will have to make peace with. Instead of brooding about them, focus on the aspect you can control. This includes how you spend your time and communicate with your spouse.
Be Realistic With Your Expectations
Your holiday season will not look the same as in previous years, which is also okay. Adjust your expectations and focus on creating new traditions with your loved ones. This can help you feel less sad and more optimistic about the future.
Supporting Your Children During the Divorce
If you have children, you must work on providing them with stability and routine throughout the holiday period. Children are very sensitive to strife and quickly pick up on your mood.
This does not mean you are not allowed to feel sad or angry. It means you need to have your feelings away from your children’s eyes. Supporting your children is essential, especially if they will be spending the holidays away from one of their parents.
It also means that you must be open and honest with your children about what they should expect. There will be future changes in living arrangements and holiday schedules, and your children deserve to know that.
Remember to keep the conversations age-appropriate and reassure your children that they are loved.
Maintain Your Children’s Beloved Traditions
If possible, try to preserve your children’s favorite traditions. Doing this will help bring a sense of comfort and normalcy. If some traditions can no longer work, involve your children in creating fun new ones.
Coordinate With Your Spouse
If you can, work with your spouse to make the holiday schedule smooth for your children’s sake. Never put your kids in the middle of your dispute with your spouse. Instead, try to leave the negativity behind and focus on making your children’s holiday experience positive.
Financial Considerations
The holiday season comes with extra pressure on your pocket. If you are paying for a divorce attorney, it adds more expenses to your list. It is crucial to be proactive about your finances to avoid extra stress.
You can do this by creating a realistic holiday budget. This should include the costs of gifts, travel, and events. If possible, talk to your spouse about sharing costs.
Do Not Overspend
Trying to feel better through retail therapy is easy when you feel sad. The problem is that expensive gifts will not make your divorce go away. And it can lead to unnecessary financial strain.
If you cannot seem to shake your sadness, try to focus on meaningful gestures. Making your children’s and your family’s holidays fun and exciting will make you feel better, too.
Speak to a Financial Advisor
Consult a financial advisor if you do not know how your divorce will affect your financial future. Financial advisors are trained financial experts who can help you understand asset division and spousal support. They can also help you budget for your new life after your divorce.
Legal and Logistical Challenges
Aside from the emotional turmoil, a holiday divorce brings legal and logistical challenges. You can overcome these by:’
- Communicating with your divorce lawyer. You should inform your lawyer about holiday-related issues, such as changes to travel plans or visit schedules. This can help prevent last-minute conflict with your spouse.
- Being mindful of deadlines. If you want to get divorced as quickly as possible, you must know your local court’s holiday schedule. Ask your lawyer about the deadlines related to your case and plan accordingly.
- Documenting agreements. If you and your spouse agree on temporary arrangements, document them. These include holiday visitations for your kids.
Finding Joy Even During a Divorce
Do not let your divorce consume you during the holiday period. This is easier said than done, but it is possible if you focus on the positive. You can do this by reflecting on everything good in your life.
You may have a loving family, a great job, and a holiday home to look forward to. Focus on this instead of your divorce. You can try to volunteer at and donate to a charity to give yourself a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Make the Right Choice for You
Never decide to divorce based on emotion only. When you are angry, it is easy to make the wrong decisions. If you are contemplating divorce during the holidays, ensure that you want to divorce for reasons other than being sad or angry.
Also, ensure that you are emotionally stable and financially secure enough to divorce at the end of the year. Your lawyer and financial advisor will advise you on your options to see you through.
Remember, the end of your marriage is not the end of your life. It is the turning of the page to a new chapter. It may feel terrifying now, but you will grow and find peace over time.