Home Forums Children’s Rights and Safety Discussion Is it tattling to call a kid's parents?

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Kari 9 months ago.

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    Melanie S

    Help! I need some advice. I saw my son’s friend smoking cigarettes in the parking lot of a gas station. What should I do? I don’t know the parents very well. Should I call them? I don’t want to be a tattletale, but the kid is only 14!



    There’s a lot of “It depends…” in this situation, but I think I would call the kid’s parents. If it were MY child smoking, I would want to know about it immediately. Also, as a general rule of thumb, if I see another child in imminent danger, regardless of how well I know the parents, I am going to call and tell them. Here is a post that has some specific advice that may be helpful: https://www.metroparent.com/daily/parenting/parenting-issues-tips/talk-another-parent-childs-behavior/



    This is tricky and I think the answer will vary. I actually experienced this same situation with my daughter and her friend I saw smoking. I called the mother of my daughters friend assuming she would appreciate another parent looking out for her daughter; but I was not prepared for the conversation. She told me my daughter also smokes and is actually the reason her daughter smokes. I was/am extremely embarrassed and annoyed with the whole situation; in a few minutes my day was ruined because I found out my daughter smokes and I hurt her friendship with the girl she is closest with. I do not think I should not have gone right to the other mother; I wish I would have taken the time to talk to my daughter first and at least tried to discuss a ‘solution’ with her. Inevitably, I would have called the mother, I just wish I would have done it as a last resort. Hope this helps.



    Definitely let his parents know, but also ask them to handle it tactfully. This one slip up can decide whether he was just doing it for fun and wont anymore, or will smoke for nearly his entire life.

    Also warn and talk to your child about the kid, don’t say he is a bad kid but advise them about smoking and how looking “cool” isn’t worth all the troubles it comes with.

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