There is nothing more heartbreaking as a parent than believing that your child may have been sexually abused. They might have communicated it to you, someone else told you, or you’re picking up on signs that point to that being the case. No matter the foundation of your suspicions, you must act quickly to ensure your child gets the support they need, and the person responsible is held to account.
Report Your Concerns
Reporting your concerns is the first step. Every state has a child abuse reporting system, so contact your state’s CPS or child welfare agency, as well as local law enforcement. If your child is in immediate danger or needs medical attention, call 911.
You may also feel it’s appropriate to contact a sexual abuse lawyer, such as Walkup, Melodia, Kelly & Schoenberger. Anyone can make a report, whether you’re a parent, caregiver, family member, or friend. You don’t have to be a mandatory reporter or a professional.
Document Everything You Know
Investigators want to know everything you know, so it’s important to document everything you’ve observed and know. Be sure to stick to facts, rather than assumptions. Write down dates and times, anything you personally observed, the exact statements made by the child if applicable, and any behaviors or injuries you’ve noticed. This information can be crucial for investigators to ask the right questions and investigate in the right places.
Seek Medical Care
If you suspect recent sexual abuse, seek medical care as soon as possible. Healthcare professionals such as pediatricians, ED doctors, and child advocacy centers can perform the appropriate tests and screenings, treat injuries, and help preserve forensic evidence. Their findings can be a fundamental component of investigations and legal proceedings. Alongside medical evaluations and forensic interviews, obtain other specialized support, such as trauma counseling and family support services.
Don’t Start Your Own Investigation
When your child has been hurt, it’s only natural for you to want to conduct your own investigation to find out what has been happening. However, it’s important to understand that your role is to report your concern, not to determine whether child abuse occurred or the details surrounding it.
Avoid repeatedly questioning your child, pressuring them for details, and gathering evidence yourself. Leave these tasks up to the trained professionals. The same goes for confronting the person you think is responsible. Doing so may put your child at more risk, complicate a criminal investigation, and lead to intimidation or witness tampering.
Get Support for Yourself
Learning that your child may have been sexually abused can be a traumatic experience. While your focus is likely on getting support for your child, it’s important to seek help for yourself, too.
Contact a therapist with experience in child trauma and approach victim advocacy services. Sometimes, it’s helpful just to reach out to trusted family members or friends who can provide wraparound support and help you stay focused on your child.
When you suspect or are told that someone has sexually abused your child, it can feel as though your entire world is crumbling around you. However, by taking the actions above, you can help your child get the support they need while remaining strong when they need you the most.
