Moving, particularly with kids, can be tough. You’ve made the big decisions: accepted the promotion, narrowed down possible new homes, and the move is right around the corner. Now comes the hardest part — planning the move and telling the kids. Whether you’re moving out of state or simply down the block, kids and teens generally aren’t excited about these adjustments. Indeed, they frequently resist these kinds of large changes. Long distance movers can make the process easier.
The good news is there are things you can do to make this transition go as smooth as possible. Your attitude about the move and how much you include your children in the process will greatly shape how they feel about the move. Here are 10 tips to help keep the moving process as hassle-free as possible:
1. Have a Family Meeting
Plan a family meeting. Grab some pizza and huddle around the dining table for a casual dinner and lots of chitchat. If your move is for a promotion or new job, share your excitement with your kids. Talk about why you took the opportunity and what it will mean for the family as a whole. Talk about what you’re feeling related to the move, and help your children express their own feelings and concerns.
That first move can be especially hard because that’s the first time they are leaving the family home. Tell them about your own experiences with your first move. Inform them that you’ll be leaning on them to pitch in with packing and getting settled into the new space.
2. Involve Kids in the New Home
If you can, include your children, particularly older ones, in the decision-making about the new home. Once you’ve narrowed things down to a handful of houses, get their feedback. If the new site is within reasonable driving distance, take them to look at the houses. To assist them, prepare them photos for each house, extensive descriptions of the different neighborhoods if it’s in a different city, and a virtual tour of the new area online if you can.
Encourage them to share their best three things about each house. Making them feel included in the decision process and letting them know their opinions will be considered in the final decision. Once you have picked a house, stay in touch with them as the process unfolds. Allow yourself to celebrate a bit once the home is secured.
3. Streamlining Before Packing
Tell your children it’s the perfect time to declutter. Scattered throughout the house, you’re probably staring at a ton of things that aren’t going to require moving to your new home. Get the kids involved in searching through every room, deciding what should stay and what can be discarded.
You can stress that you will not be throwing everything away by also saying that you are keeping sentimentality items. But clothing, toys, or electronics that are no longer used should be in the toss pile if and only if they’ve been evaluated carefully. Keep in mind that you do not have to dispose of them — you can sell them.
4. Hold a Moving Sale
After you’ve decided what to keep and what to throw out, enlist your kids’ help with creating a moving sale. They can help sort, inventory, price, and tag items. Say that the funds will be used for the family. Think about doing a family meeting to see what that could be—possibly a new home TV or maybe even a pet. The more kids feel part of the decision, the more eager they’ll be to help sell.
5. Check out the New Community
Get to know the new neighborhood, community, and town. Tell your kids what you learn. You should give frank, straightforward information rather than overselling and risking false hope. Let them do their own research, too. Help them explore websites for their community and school online, and maybe grab a local magazine or the weekend edition of the local paper so you can find out about organizations, school events, sports, and other social activities.
6. Get Room Plans
Excite your kids about the new house by creating room plans. You don’t have to restrict these plans to just their rooms. If they want to help arrange and decorate other areas of the house, let them. Take a trip to the hardware store and explore paint swatches together. If you’re buying new furniture and your kids want to be involved, take them along.
For teenagers, set a budget and allow them to design their own rooms—picking out colors, linens, rugs, and furniture. Encourage them to shop at consignment and thrift stores. For younger kids, provide a budget and collaborate with them to bring their vision to life. Once the decorating is complete, you can invite family or friends over for a “big reveal,” just like on TV shows.
7. Do a Site Visit
If possible, take your kids to visit the new house. If you’re moving across town, spend the day doing a walk-through of your new home and touring the neighborhood. Visit the local library branch and each child’s school.
For longer-distance moves, especially when relocating with a trusted provider like Suddath moving company, you might still manage a visit—even if it means arriving ahead of the moving van and staying in a local hotel for a couple of days. Arrange tours of key locations such as schools, the library, and other facilities like the YMCA, community theater, or music school. You can also drive your kids by your new workplace to help them feel connected.
8. Host a Farewell “See You Soon” Party
Saying goodbye to friends can be one of the toughest parts of moving for kids. Ease the transition by hosting a “See You Soon” party with family, friends, and neighbors. During the party, have everyone exchange contact information and take pictures of your kids with their friends.
With texting, emails, and phone calls, your children can maintain old friendships while adjusting to their new surroundings and forming new connections. If you’re moving a significant distance, talk with the parents of your children’s friends to plan a weekend visit or arrange a midway meet-up for a day trip.
9. Plan Your Moving Route
Grab your GPS, maps, and atlas if you’re moving a few towns over or into a different state. This is especially helpful if you plan to return to visit friends and family you are leaving behind. Plan your travel route and pick out points of interest during the journey. This should make your road trip enjoyable for both you and your kids.
Once you have arrived at your new destination, keep the maps handy. Engage the kids to help map out regular routes—from home to schools and local attractions like the park, mall, or movie theater.
10.Get to Know Your New Community
You’ve been settling into your new home for about a week now. Once the boxes have started to empty, it’s time to explore your new community. Consider taking a guidebook for your new city.
Sit down with your kids and a calendar to plan some enjoyable outings around the area. Take your children apple- or strawberry-picking at a local farm, visit the natural science museum, or enjoy outdoor activities like hiking, rafting, or kayaking at a nearby state park. Show them the best of what your new hometown has to offer.
If they’ve made new friends in your neighborhood or at school, suggest that each child invite a friend along on your adventures.
Moving With Kids FAQ
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Is it bad for a child to move frequently?
According to a 2016 study by the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, having a peripatetic childhood can have a long-term deleterious impact on a person well into adulthood. Frequent relocations break critical friendships, heighten anxiety and other mental health issues, and frequently leave parents feeling stressed and upset, undermining a child’s sense of security and safety.
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What is the ideal age to move a child?
In general, kids younger than age 6 typically adapt to moving and new places most readily because they’re less capable of grasping what’s happening, and their immediate family is their center of relationships. Young children are naturally resilient and make new friends more readily than older children and teens.
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Are toddlers difficult to move?
Moving can be overwhelming for toddlers, so it’s wise to have early conversations about the move and what it will mean for them in terms they understand. Try to talk about things like their new room and cool things about the new house or neighborhood. And give them room to feel their feelings as they process this transition.
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What are the effects of moving on a child?
Moving can shake a child’s feeling of safety and stability and delay their social development. But if parents are intentional about helping their child transition and moving isn’t something they do frequently, it is less likely to have long-lasting effects on the child.
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What is the worst age to move a child?
Middle school, the stage between ages 12 and 14, is a notoriously difficult time to be moving a child, especially if there’s a long-distance move involved that uproots friendships altogether.