For LGBTQ+ Parents
Having gay parents is completely normal, and there are some situations families will navigate differently from those with straight parents.
How Does Having A Gay Parent Impact A Child?
Millions of children have one or more gay and/or lesbian parents. For some children, having a gay or lesbian parent is not a big deal. Others may find it hard to have a family that is different from most families. Being different in any way can be confusing, frustrating, and even scary. But what really matters is that children can talk to their parents about how they feel and that there is love and support in the family.
Studies have shown that children with gay and/or lesbian parents are ultimately just as happy with themselves and their own gender as are their friends with heterosexual parents. Children whose parents are homosexual show no difference in their choice of friends, activities, or interests compared to children whose parents are heterosexual. As adults, their career choices and lifestyles are similar to those of children raised by heterosexual parents.
Research comparing children raised by homosexual parents to children raised by heterosexual parents has found no developmental differences in intelligence, psychological adjustment, social adjustment, or peer popularity between them. Children raised by homosexual parents can and do have fulfilling relationships with their friends as well as romantic relationships later on.
Some Questions To Expect
Your children will probably have different concerns and questions depending on their age, personality, and your family’s decisions.
For example, all children whose parents have separated or divorced need to know that the separation was not their fault, and that both parents will continue to love and care for them. Children and teens may be interested in the implications for them of whether their same-sex parents are married or united in a civil union. The AAP supports civil marriage for all same sex parents who wish to marry. Civil unions or Domestic Partnerships do not provide the same kind of legal and economic security as does Civil Marriage.
Children are interested in and affected by their parents’ thoughts, feelings, and decisions. It’s important that you answer your children’s questions as honestly as you can, being sensitive to their developmental needs at the different stages in their lives.
Preschool-aged children often are very curious about their family background, so they may ask many questions about a mother or a father whom they don’t know or who isn’t always around. It’s best to answer their questions simply and honestly. Expect more questions as new ideas occur to your child.
School-aged children will become more aware that their family is different and may want to know about their family background. They may think of new questions as they meet other children from different family backgrounds.
Young and older teens are aware that they are different. Some teens who didn’t care before may become self-conscious and even embarrassed about their parents. Some teens may become concerned about their own sexual orientation but may be reluctant to talk with others for fear of being teased or criticized. This may be a good time to talk more about your sexual orientation and life choices.
References & Sources
By being here, you’re impacting generations.
American Society for the Positive Care of Children is dedicated to preventing child maltreatment and raising awareness of the lifelong impacts of adverse childhood experiences by providing parents with the skills, tools, and educational resources that build their confidence and capacity as caregivers and create more positive childhood experiences. We’re able to continue providing resources like these free of charge to nearly 1,000,000 families who rely on us annually thanks to the generosity of our supporters.
Take action to reduce Adverse Childhood Experiences for the Next Generation Today.
By being here, you’re impacting generations.
American Society for the Positive Care of Children is dedicated to preventing child maltreatment and raising awareness of the lifelong impacts of adverse childhood experiences by providing parents with the skills, tools, and educational resources that build their confidence and capacity as caregivers and create more positive childhood experiences. We’re able to continue providing resources like these free of charge to nearly 1,000,000 families who rely on us annually thanks to the generosity of our supporters.
Take action to reduce Adverse Childhood Experiences for the Next Generation Today.